Arrrgggghhhhh!
Umpteenth phone call of the week to LloydsTSB. They seem determined to stop me spending my money. Apparently buying some extra premium bonds and paying for a holiday is 'suspicious'. Except I buy Premium Bonds every month and go on holiday at least once a year!
I've banked with them for 20+ years and must have spoken to them more in the last 10 days than I have in the last ten years. It's almost as if Internet Banking has been replaced by some crazy hybrid "Do it on the internet but why bother? you'll still have to spend 20 minutes on the 'phone speaking to one of our "Computer says 'No'" call centre staff anyway" frankenbank.
Here's a taster.
Tried to use a debit card from Lloyds to make a payment to Lloyds to pay off part of a loan. Asked if was Ok to do this "Oh Sir how silly this is 2010 of course you can!" style response. Shedloads of cash in the bank but ... Card declined.
Receiving bit of Lloyds then treats me like I'm something on the sole of a shoe. I call and ask debit card people why? "Security" WTF?
Try again. It goes through. "Don't forget to cancel the DD" they say. I cancel the DD.
Try to buy some petrol. Card declined. Mortified. Use another card. Get to work, call them. "Security" WTF!
You remember that DD I cancelled. They send me a shitty "You've cancelled your DD. Pay us what you owe. Go directly to the Collections Department. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200" style letter. I phone up to complain and some bored Geordie's in Peterlee do the equivalent of a gallic shrug. The complaints team that I eventually get put through to actually said, "We are living in crazy world sir". Yes. SERIOUSLY.
Tonight I need to help someone out and I get "You are not authorised to use internet banking" I called the please call this number and got passed from person to person three times and every time had to answer the same flippin' 'security' questions. Along with a whole lot of new ones I'd never been asked before about get this OTHER Lloyds account holders who live at this address.
Switch you current account to us and put your feet up..... our backside if you want any service, or access to your money, or just to be treated like a customer.
and relax!
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Thanks for taking an interest. Keep it clean legal decent honest and truthful and who knows I may even post it.